Part 1: the Encounter
I stood there frozen in terror with my
mouth wide open. There in front of me stood the most horrifying beast of all…
Or at least the most horrifying beast
in my opinion.
“Was it Bigfoot, a flesh eating
zombie, a vampire, or perhaps the Devil himself?”
“No reader it was none of the above.
Quit guessing because I am about to tell you.
It was a mime.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me!
My fear of mimes is no laughing matter.
“What is so funny about a mime?
They are so eerie looking, wearing that
ghostly facial makeup, along with the sign of the plague around their eyes
dyed in midnight black. Their shirts are as white as a Caucasian corpse with
raven coloured striped lines across them. They wear dress pants that you would
wear when going to a funeral. They also wear gloves that a professional strangler
would have on while doing what they do best!
Here I was jogging home through a dense
forest of trees with claw-like branches. The ground crunched underneath me
while jogging over twigs and dried leaves. The moon glowed high above me.
“So can you imagine the spooky effect
the moon’s glow gave on the mime’s face when he grabbed me by
my shoulders and spun me around?”
“You still haven’t been convinced
that mimes are horrifying beasts?
“Well read what happens next.”
The strangest thing about this whole situation
is that I never even heard the mime running or walking ( who really knows)
behind me. It’s like he appeared out of nowhere. Like a demon.
The mime’s seaweed coloured eyes
stared into mine. His teeth grumbled out of his mouth.
All of a sudden the mime’s face
transformed into a skull. His eyes rolled out of his head and blood oozed
out of his sockets, while every piece of his facial flesh fell off and landed
on my running shoes. At the same time his ears became infected with gangrene
and rotted off the sides of his head. Then his gloves dissolved the same way
flesh does when acid hits it. Now his hands were nothing but pure bones.
Before I knew it, the rotting mime’s
wardrobe rapidly changed. His suit turned into a Grim Reaper robe with a hood
to match! Those gothic shoes of his exploded and maggot filled blood hit my
face. Surprisingly he began to float a half a foot off the ground.
“Let’s now refer to this mime
as the Grim Reaper shall we?
The Grim Reaper took his hands off my
shoulders.
I screamed. When I did the deer and rabbits
that were near me turned into little green trolls with yellow puss gushing
out of their stomachs. Then they ran so far away I lost sight of the creeps.
“Quit saying don’t just stand
there, run!
“Impossible!
My entire body except my mouth literally
turned into ice with large icicles hanging off my face, arms, and legs.
A bottle labelled Formaldehyde appeared
in the Grim Reaper’s left hand.
With his left hand the Grim Reaper grabbed
my throat. Then he poured the formaldehyde down my throat.
The narrator’s insides burned up
and the heat caused the ice to melt off his body.
Finally, the Grim reaper snapped his fingers
and he and the narrator disappeared off the face of the Earth.
Part 2: The Feasting
Ground
“Follow me through this tunnel of
fog.
“Don’t look so terrified!
I am the Grim Reaper and that’s that! Reader, help me carry the narrator’s
corpse. After all it will be a long journey.
“Just remember: Death is quick for
you but for me it’s a hard task bringing bodies to the feasting ground!
“Oops! I forgot to warn you about
that snarling, grey furred, menacing werewolf who likes stalking me and now
of course, YOU!
“Don’t worry! I’ll take
care of him! Usually he does me no harm, since a soul snatcher can’t
be turned into a wolf.
“Hey werewolf! Leave the weak hearted
reader alone! Quit nibbling at the reader’s back!
The reaper spun around and hummed a Satanic
chant which turned the werewolf into stone.
“Keep helping me carry the narrator’s
corpse.
“See that orange light ahead of
us?
“Quick! Turn to the left now! That
orange light is a disguise. Get to close to it and the light turns into the
walking dead. Men and women from the past with rat bitten intestines hanging
out of their stomachs and mushy looking eye balls hanging out of their sockets
with worms wrapped around them.
“What did you expect? This is a
tunnel through the underworld. I can’t just simply drop off his soul
for Satan and his little green troll men! First, I have to feed his insides
to the creatures of Satan’s desert.
“Reader, you have been brave. Thank-you
so much for assisting me through this tunnel. You must excuse those creaky
coffins on the left and right of this passage. That’s all part of the
sight seeing. Satan enjoys hiding monsters throughout this foggy tunnel.
“Quick run! Yes, run while helping
me carry the narrator’s corpse. If you don’t continue to assist
me, I’ll have to feed you to those blood sucking vampires.
“Do you see them?”
“Unbelievable isn’t it?
Deathly pale looking women wearing moth
covered gowns and rising up from their coffins and trying to pounce on you
reader and drain the blood from your neck.
“Yes, I know their hair is crawling
with baby rats! The coffins were cheaply put together by Satan’s little
green trolls. The rats need a home to you know!
“Hurry up and run with me! The vampire
brides are beginning to form a circle around us! Oh, we are almost near the
sun at the end of the tunnel.
“Phew! We made it. Don’t panic.
Surely you know that vampires detest the sun!
“All right, if it bothers you that
much, let me hum a little spell and the rock made from human brains will shoot
down from the sky onto this desert.
“Mission accomplished! Now you can’t
gawk at the vampire brides anymore.
“Yes, I know we are now floating
in the air. It’s because of my supernatural powers that you are floating
with me.
“Look down below.
Do you see the army of mummies? Don’t
act surprised! This is Satan’s desert you know. It's also know as the
Feasting Ground.
“Well it was nice knowing you reader.
I must disappear again. But first I must send you and the narrator off.
“Too bad, so sad! I tricked you.
Of course I can’t let you live. After all, I am one of Satan’s
brothers!
“Didn’t you know that? Well
now you do.
“Oh, before I go, let me tell you
something.
“Those mummies down there on the
hot as lava sand use their bandages as a disguise. They're really the size
of dwarves.
“Since the narrator had a fear of
mimes they became the death of him. You reader, have a fear of heights. That
will be your waterloo.
The Grim Reaper vanished and took its
supernatural powers along.
When the narrator and the reader hit the
sand, the reader died instantly.
All in a row, the mummies marched towards
the narrator and reader. As soon as they got within a foot of the 2 corpses,
the mummies melted into the little green trolls. Then they began to chant.
Up from the human flesh built pyramid
may the bird rise!
Squawking and screeching all the way.
Rise, Satan’s pet!
Rise and fly!
Then eat!
Rise mighty bird!
Rise! Rise! Rise!
Suddenly the distant pyramid exploded,
releasing giant flies and mosquitoes.
Minutes later, a 200 foot tall bird with
a wingspan of 50 feet flew out of the demolished pyramid. It was a vulture.
Rapidly, the little green trolls dug a
hole in the ground with their claws and buried themselves.
The vulture landed in front of the narrator
and reader. Then she opened her sharp beak and began to peck at the carrion.
Part 3: Playthings
Nothing but bones left now. All the flesh
has been devoured by the vulture. After the vulture finished her meal, she
flew back to the demolished pyramid.
She wrapped her wings around her and all
of a sudden the pyramid rebuilt itself around her. Then the vulture fell asleep.
She will sleep until the trolls call for her again.
The trolls dug themselves out of the sand
and gathered up the bones.
The trolls began to chant:
Our Master the dark lord ,
Please allow us to take the bones to your
sea of black water.
Let us appear there, wise old one!
Then, kindly take us back to your home
of flames.
Within seconds the trolls appeared above
the black sea. Quickly they tossed the bones into the water. Then Satan’s
long red serpent-like tail wrapped around the trolls and pulled them under,
went down to the bottom of the sea which was covered in leeches and took them
under the ground.
A family of purple leviathans began to
come up to the surface and playfully tossed the bones back and forth to each
other while hissing with joy. As they tossed the bones about, they chanted
in a sing song like manner:
Spirits of the 2 dead people, appear and
go under!
Let Satan take you folks from the murky
depths to the underworld below.
When they get into the underworld, Satan
be fair!
Don’t give them each a home to share,
Give them their own fears to bare!
Just then the sprits of the narrator and
reader appeared, standing on the water. They cried in agony.
The leviathans licked both spirits with
their tongues which were covered in mumps. This caused the narrator and reader
to be pulled under the water by a tentacle Satan created out of rocks.
Under the murky depths the spirits went.
Through the leech covered sea floor and down to the underworld. Satan then
ordered his little green trolls to put the 2 spirits into their separate fear
ridden homes.
Part 4: Their New
Homes
The spirits of the narrator and the reader
have no choice but to suffer in their new homes. Both homes consist of a dungeon
with no doors, or windows. The first dungeon has a floor. This is the home
of the narrator.
Forever and ever, the narrator will be
chased around the 1 room dungeon by a dozen of Satan’s little green
trolls. The trolls have taken the form of axe wielding mimes. They have rabid
bats fly out of their mouth every time they open them to laugh at the narrator.
The narrator was and will forever be scared
of bats and mimes.
The reader who has a phobia of heights
will continue to fall through a black bottomless pit for eternity.
Every now and then spiders mysteriously
appear on the reader’s body and crawl around.
The reader was and will forever be scared
of heights and spiders.
Satan sits in his pit of flames and cheers
while viewing not only the narrator and reader but millions of other souls
tormented with their fears.
A group of nude witches covered entirely
with warts show him this with their cauldron.
The End.
2008
(stories)
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