. Sir Brilliance The Slug .


by Philip Wallace

written in 1986 by wally

The slug appeared near the end of time. It was dressed in armor that bore the label Campbell's. It coughed up bile and left a trail of slime that glistened in the noonday sun and sparkled under a full moon. It was oblivious to what happened around it with a disregard for time that appealed to the apocalyptic culture of the day. It became a superstar after some hippie film school dropout shot a piece about it. Soon celebrities were lining up to pose with the slug. Fighting is raging around the world, but the slug doesn't mind. It's got too many peacenik apocalypse bonfires and pep rallies to attend.

It receives a name and knighthood from the Queen. It is now known as Sir Brilliance even though it's just a slug.
Military personnel decided to kill Sir Brilliance because it was something they didn't understand. A mixture of salt bombs and napalm were used but its armor was specially coated with a sodium repellent. Small-scale nukes were next used, but the lessons of Godzilla and other assorted monsters were lost on the military because they only resulted in the slug growing to a fifty story tall mutant slug. Instead of a gentle slug, Sir Brilliance became a bringer of destruction and woe to the world. He left a wake of death as people trapped in its slime dies of exposure. The ravaged land became a slug paradise.

Until a day dawned in the western desert of America. The slug had grown weary of all the rampaging so it decided to rest. Sir Brilliance took off his armor and stretched. It could see a huge lake a few yards away and it decided what it really needed was a bath. Sir Brilliance plunged into the depths of the water and withered away to nothing. A sign blew in the breeze by a boat dock. It read "Welcome to the Great Salt Lake".

The end




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