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Silent Hill

by Kara 5/7/06

We went to see Silent Hill on Saturday, 04/22/06. I didn't really have high expectations. I had seen the preview on TV and thought it looked a tiny bit creepy....maybe. That morning, before we went to see the movie, Shrub told me it was based on a video game which didn't help its case as far as I was concerned. After lunch and a few free beers at Hooners, we headed over to the theater.

The movie did not make sense - and no, it wasn't because of the beer. I went with Shrub and Dean and both of them walked out saying - I don't get it. Does this happen in editing - this massacre of a good story? Was there a good storyline when the movie was pitched and when they started filming? Are they trying to fool us into believing the characters and the out of the blue epiphanies they have make sense? Because they don't. It's so dumb when the people in the movie can figure stuff out so easily and without any evidence to give them insight. Like the giant knife being shoved at their heads made them understand everything so perfectly? It's all so crystal clear now? Why are we here? What is our purpose? Where's my evil, adopted, witch daughter? Which came first - the chicken or the egg? It all makes so much sense now! Hogwash. It isn't fair for the characters to figure stuff out like that because it never really answers anything for the audience. We're sitting there thinking, "Well, we're glad YOU know what’s going on. Can you clue us in?"

There are some really creepy characters in Silent Hill. Some of them are VERY original and they were fun to look at. They could've been really effective if they had a story line that made any sense whatever.

Before I forget...there's this one part where the messed up kid's mother is trying to find her in the parallel universe. The townspeople have given her instructions on where to look for her daughter. She turns a corner in this hospital and all of a sudden there are about 20 of these gross, dead, monster, hot nurses with cleavage and short dresses and the nurse hats? The costumes looked like the nurse costumes you see during Halloween in stores, except they were filled in properly - unlike most of the women you see wearing them at parties when you're thinking - "Seriously. Seriously? Are you really wearing that?" and you have to kind of shake your head, give a little tsk-tsk, and move along. They're all blocking the hallway and they start trying to attack her, but then she gets past them. They start slicing and dicing each other with their scalpels. Immediately all the secrets the mom has been searching for are revealed to her. Like that was the super, way, ultimate test ever or something. The scene could've even worked better if they had just looked like old timey nurses. Maybe some of them could be old and haggard and some of them fat and some of them short and one with a hunchback. You know, mix it up a little instead of casting the Rockettes. Dean goes - when did this turn into a Robert Palmer video? It was silly and it threw me even farther off track than I already was. It was unfortunate.

After she defeats the nurses and makes it to the place where the evil one dwells, which is down in the basement (room B151), the movie starts trying to help you understand what's been going on a little better. We finally get some sort of explanation and some entertainment. The storytelling, flashbacks and scenes that proceed are like an alarm clock telling you to wake up from your nap. I'm not saying it started to make too much more sense, but it was at least interesting-ish and that's what we paid our $4 to witness.

Silent Hill pushes the religion envelope right out the door and down the street. The craziest part of the movie involves a dead or dying, burnt up, older version of the little girl except it's not her - or it IS her?. She was accused of being a witch when she was a little girl because she didn't have a daddy and they burnt her up on a rotisserie over a bon fire and it hurt real bad and now she wants revenge. I can't say I blame her. It turns out that's what all of this parallel universe and the little girl and her mother being sucked in is all about. Revenge. I'm making it sound like the movie starts to make sense, but nothing before this ever gets clearer than opaque at best. So anyhow, the religion envelope... all of the "witch" burning and avoidance of evil happens in the town church. It's a made up religion of sorts, but it's largely based on Christianity which is made very clear when the crazy little girl, but older and burnt up, turns all baby Jesus-esque in a metal, manger looking bed with barbed wire tentacles, starts floating in front of the church. And the blood starts a-flowin'. Yay!



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