We went to Dallas Scaregrounds on Thursday, October 14, 2004. They are one of the few haunted houses in the area that is open on Thursday nights. If you want to avoid super long lines, this is the way to go. There was hardly anyone there when we arrived. We walked around for a minute, looking at the booths, the monster maze and the graveyard where you can get a photo made. They do have food and drinks here, but you have to buy tickets and then use them to pay for the food. That’s always a hassle. It’s inevitable to end up with 1 ticket at the end that won’t buy anything but a bag of chips you don’t want. So we passed on the food part (even though we were starving) and got in line.

There were maybe 12 people ahead of us, but somehow the line managed to take 30 minutes to get through. I’m not exactly complaining about it this. Only because one of my biggest pet peeves with haunted houses is being too close to other groups and them ruining the surprise for me or another group following too closely and stepping on my heels. Grrr.

We got up to the front of the line and the guy wearing the STAFF shirt asked about the Goblinhaus shirts we were wearing (see Goblin shop). I was thinking he would tell the people inside to scare us even more because of them (you know, because we're high class, tough critics and were probably going to review them on our website). Apparently they didn’t get the memo.

When you first walk in, you’re greeting by a nice fellow who asks you to get into a coffin. Within the first 30 seconds, I was startled by big huge – oh wait, those aren't monsters, those are more STAFF members talking on their headsets, opening doors and letting in light. After that, things didn't get much better.

There were a couple of scary and creepy moments. And by a couple, I mean 3. The exorcist room is well done and sent chills up my spine. Some swingin heads will make you cringe. One very industrial room will give you the creeps - maybe this room is foretelling our future with another four years of Dubya? You'll be able to tell when you move on to the "next haunted house". There’s a big sign telling you so and the scenery changes. However, I don’t think it’s fair of them to advertise 3 haunted houses in one. It took us less than 20 minutes to walk through
the entire thing and we were taking our time. There were some surprises in the 3-D room, but nothing scary or original. Good camouflage.

After the house, we watched the “freak” show in the midway. Part of which included a girl with big gazongas showing us how handy they were for holding stuff such as a cup or a candle. ? Then a guy poked big pins through his skin – which was gross, but I wouldn’t call this a freak show.

We quickly got bored of this and went to the beer booth to get a couple of dvd’s with trailers for the new SAW movie. The best part of the night was the people in the booths. They were all outgoing and friendly. I especially liked the woman yelling, TAAACO TAAACO TACO TACO TACO TACO! Then we decided we had had enough and decided to leave. It was that uneventful.

All in all, as if you can't tell, I was NOT impressed. The haunted house was way, way too short and not scary. The atmosphere in midway (?) had no potential. It was totally lacking of any inspired decorations or creepy spooks walking around.

We went to this haunted house a few years ago because Gunnar Hansen, better known as Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, was there. The haunted house was amazing then. It took forever to go through and was truly scary. Probably the best of its day. I was really disappointed this year. Let’s go back to the good ole days fellas, you are regressing, not progressing.

Recognize, GH BOYEE!!

- Kara




Dallas Scaregrounds Thursday night, 10/14/04
















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